I Hate Cell Phones and Text Messages
88A few weeks ago I published an article entitled "things that piss me off." This particular article took off and is currently my most viewed article to date. Apparently I am not alone in my rants and complaints on all things I find irritating; you can view that article by clicking this link http://hubpages.com/hub/Things-That-Piss-Me-Off. Well, for everyone who was a fan of that article, I have a new one that you may or may not agree with that is somewhat on the same level as the previously mentioned article. I look forward to all the comments and opinions so here we go. Caution this article contains explicit language.
One thing that was not included in that list is something that infuriates me on a daily basis and I don't know how it could have escaped my mind and slipped through the cracks. Today, I bring that annoyance to the forefront and release my frustration, vengeance and hatred for the every popular cell phone. Every one has a cell phone, everyone seems to rely on it and everyone seems to over-use it.
I have a cell phone along with the rest of the free world and while most have come to love, rely and enjoy their particular piece of technology; I have come to absolutely despise it. I hate that I am always in contact and communication with everyone all the time. I hate that people assume if you have a cell phone, you are available every second of the fucking day. I hate that you can't just get away for a few hours without getting numerous text messages and voice mails from people irritated that they can't get in contact with you. If I ever assault someone while they are on the phone, be warned, no matter what color or race the person on the end of my foot is, it is indeed a hate crime.
Let me get right into my first irritating fact about cell phones; they make people into horrible drivers. I am so sick of driving to and from work and sitting behind some driving erratically or slow as shit because they are on the fucking phone. I get so frustrated that I seriously ponder the possibility of smashing my car into them suddenly crashing their car or truck into a ditch where their car will be consumed in flames and I can hear the passengers telling their friends or family on the cell phone that they are burning to death. Their ear and hand will melt to the cell phone and they will have to be buried with that fucking phone forever. I will then attend the funeral and promptly call the cell phone from the service and laugh over the voice mail, which would certainly brighten my day.
Oh, I also love the assholes who try to talk and text at the same time. That's not too dangerous is it? Holy shit, I would rather be on the road with a drunk than these pickle-kissing fucks while they try to drive and text their friends about some non-important gibberish. I see people at red lights all the time texting their heart out, not paying attention to the changing light and making me have to blow my horn on my vehicle to get their ass moving. They don't even fucking care either...they continue to drive (slowly), serve and text as they go on their merry way. I think next time I am at a stop light and I witness this act again, I am going to quickly exit my car, walk to the driver in front of me, reach into their car and push their face into the steering wheel over and over again while I take their cell phone, drop it onto the ground and piss on it. Well, I'll be honest with you, that won't happen; I have trouble pissing in front of people.
Next I want to talk about the people who cannot live without their phone for more than ten minutes. Let me make this clear...there is no need for any human being to have to call and text all day. I am tired of all the people who say they cannot do their job / profession and/or career without the phone because that is just a bunch of malarkey. Here are a few professions that I will give a pass to regarding needing a cell phone at all time: hookers, truck drivers, cab drivers and police detectives. Other than that, I say to you folks with a cell attached to the hip, quit being a pussy and act like a fucking grown-up. The world does not revolve around you cock-smokers!
Just the other day I was listening to "The Herd" on ESPN radio. The host; Colin Cowherd, was making his comments on a story in which a golf club banned cell phone use on the coarse. He was livid that cell phones were banned and said it was ridiculous to think people can go 5-6 hours without their cell phone. He said successful people all use their cell phone and need to check emails and voice-mails at least every hour. Are you serious Colin? I seem to remember a lot of rich and successful people were around before the invention of the precious cell phone. I think Donald trump was already a millionaire before he had a cell phone attached to him at all times. There is no need to have to drop everything you are doing to appease some fuckface in a matter of seconds.
Before cell phones were invented and placed in our lives forever, if you called someone's office or home, you left a message and they would eventually call back. Apparently now, we as a society has the patience of an autistic flea and can't seem to grasp the fact that people like me are not willing to be accessible to everyone all the fucking time. When I go to the airport, a restaurant, a Cubs game, the golf coarse or the fucking movie theater, I want to start kicking people in the genitalia when they decide it is absolutely necessary to strike up a phone conversation.
A quick side note, I can't stand it when I go to a Cubs game and I am sitting next to someone talking to one of their friends on the phone that is also at the game in a different section while they try to find where each person is sitting. You are both at the Cubs game, watch the game, who fucking cares where you retarded friend is sitting. Seriously, it has happened on multiple occasions and the next time it does, the grass at Wrigley Field will be getting a close look at that particular phone as I hurl it into the outfield. Since I ma the mayor of Cubby-Town, they will be banned from being a fan from that point on.
How bout those dick-holes and cunts that decide to use the Bluetooth technology and carry on conversation that looks like they are talking to themselves. I hate it when I am at the store and someone starts talking out of nowhere and I think they are talking to me so I quickly respond or ask them if they are talking to me only to get a dirty look. Excuse me for not knowing you have a fucking ear piece in you fucking piece of shit; I am only try to be helpful. They should smile at me and tell me they are on the phone and that they are a self-centered twat that has no respect for other people in their vicinity. If I had a baseball bat I would like to give that ear a home-run swing and permanently lodge the ear-bund into their tiny pea-brain. Can you hear me now dingleberry?
Lastly, I know this is going to get me in some sort of trouble, but my wife has pushed me to my breaking point. Since my wife has gotten a cell phone it has become increasingly apparent that she has some sort of texting addiction along with her sisters. Every day she, her sisters and her friends text hundreds of text back and forth. Now, don't get me wrong, these are very important texts such as "I'm Tired", "Baby Shit Again", "I stubbed my toe", blah blah blah. How could we live without those very important nuggets of information?
It would be one thing if the text amongst each other while I was at work or gone, but nooooo, this lasts from the moment they wake to when they go to sleep; sometimes text come in while they are sleeping. Not twenty minutes goes by without the sound of a text coming into my wife's cell phone. I can't help but get irritated when I am with my family, talking, having dinner or anything else and I watch my wife put on a text-fest right in front of me. No one would stand for someone who continually interrupts a person as they speak, but apparently text messages are not considered interruptions as I see them, but in fact take precedence over anything I may be talking about. When I try to portray this to my wife, I must suddenly change ethnicities and speak in a language she is not familiar with because she never sees what I am talking about and never will.
I can't tell you how many days I thought to myself of how wonderful a feeling it would be to completely destroy my wife's cell phone. Every time we drive together I daydream about snatching the phone out of her hand and tossing it out the window of my car while watching it explode into a million pieces on the pavement. Snap back to reality, and if I did that, it would be like murdering our children, I would be divorced and alone. She always tells me she needs the phone in case someone needs her; sure, whatever makes you sleep better at night.
Anyway, after digging myself an early grave by bringing my wife into this article I want to end on a serious note. I am not saying we should not have cell phones because they are very important when it comes to dealing with emergencies and keeping in contact with your children, but this over-use is getting completely out of hand. You CAN turn the cell phone off for a day; you CAN go on vacation without a cell phone and YOU DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE IN CONTACT WITH EVERYONE ALL THE TIME!
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While I'm not anywhere near as...colorful..as you are when talking about your dislike of constant cell phone usage, I do understand your frustration. There's no patience nowadays - everything has to be told right away via text or phone. Heck, have you noticed how there are more and more people who have trouble remembering things they were thinking of 10 mins ago? I'm sure to some part phone and text have to do with this. Those people should practice NOT texting, and actually try to remember all of those *fantastic* little details for when they see their friends. It's better for memory, it's better for socialization, and it's better for safety.
I'm going to text you right away and tell you how great of an article this was :P
I'm going to text you right away and tell you how great of an article this was :P
I'm glad I'm not the only one with semi-phychotic thoughts about what to do to people on that are on cell phones at inappropriate times. Just the other day, I was at a game in V.I.P. seating that I and everyone else paid decent money for and some asshole sitting by us just had to discuss his life with someone on the phone. Then a foul ball was hit our way and said to my husband, "I hope it hits the guy on the phone," lound enough for him to hear. Of course it didn't hit him and he didn't hear me and he just kept jabbering away, interupting the game for the those of us to might have wanted to watch the play. I think what it comes down to is that people generally have no regard for others, so maybe people like us should speak out more and say something, but then we look like the vigilante phycho.
You're right. A bit reason why people do these things is because of disregard. Geez, why do we have to live in the "Me me me" era. Whatever happened to those days when people would actually think of others before they acted?
Adam, you are freakin' hilarious! Of course, I - as a car driving texter - am not one of the inconsiderate assholes who interfere with your day!
It amuses me when people walk around with their Bluetooth - or other brand - in their ear waiting for the next all important phone call. My brother and sister-in-law both do this! Odd! I know them. They are NOT all that important! Of course, she'll just pull out her phone when she's bored and start playing some game.
The 'me' generation began ... uhm. ... what about 50 - 60 years ago. It is way out of hand. Not that we should always put others' before us but yep ... a bit of consideration can go a long way!
hey man, im with you all the way in your hatered towards idiot texters.
Oh my God Adam... lol. I take a bow, this was hil-arious! My office is right on main street, and whenever I go out for a cig break I could at least 15 assholes talking and driving at the same time. There are also about 3 rear end accidents right out my door do to the fucking phone drivers.
Thank you for the kind words MellasViews, I get annoyed daily by cell phone missuse. Sadly, it will never end.
I dont know what this board is about but can someone PLEASE help me. My little brother died (my only brother at that) and he left me a message some how it got deleted and I have been saving it for months. Is there anyway to get it back....???
To courtney: There are programs out there that you can buy or? that can retrieve erased text messages. Forensic something. Google or Yahoo.
Adam, niiice bro. I totally agree but more than I hate those people who walk around ALL day with a Bluetooth in their ear w/o even being on a call and those who need to chat away, even at the grocery store are the Nextel users with their LOUD speakers. So not only do I have to hear one part of the conversation, I get to hear all of it!
People are more and more tuning to the internet and spending most the day on it. Now, more and more people text rather than calling. If we all did not have to work, I seriously think that everyone would sit at home, go on the internet and text, day in, day out and there will be nobody out in the real world anymore... hey wait, that may be a good thing...
i think testing is the best thing that could happen to a phone
Texting is dumb....but can be convenient sometimes. Especially when you don't want to talk to the person. You communicate with them and blow them off at the same time. For those of you who get caught up in the hype quite quickly, read between the lines. If someone claims it is more convenient to text you than call you, you are not that important. TRUST!!!
Thank you, I hate cell phones AND house phones... I just got into an argument with one of my best friends because I hate talking to people on the phone... GAH!
At the gym Adam, at the gym! Come on, can't they get thru a workout without letting Suzie know that Mark looked at her in Math class? The Martha is wearing spandex, or that you'll be home in a few? I'm losing it man. I wonder if that overweight person wasting time on the bike with the cell in their ear gets it? Want to lose 30lbs? Here is a tip, leave the phone in the car......gross....totally gross.
Facebook and cell phones have made us all a bunch of self serving narcissists. It is almost impossible to hold a conversation anymore with someone (in person) without them checking their cell phone or holding their cell phone, like they are so important, so entitled. The blue tooth is the worst, I just want to scream, "you are not that important", and why is it that it is always some 300 pound slob in pajama pants walking through Wal-Mart at 1am with a Bluetooth, is there some sort of important business meeting he may miss if not for the retched cell? All cell phones due is perpetuate the myth that we all matter, that somehow our stupid conversations, that our stupid trials through this life are meaningful to anyone but us. Do yourself a favor, get rid of the cell phone and do some good, volunteer, raise money, be an active participant instead of a self centered bystander creating unnecessary drama and frustration where there was once peace and harmony.
i completely agree phone and face book are making us all feel much more important than we are.i really couldnt give a shit about what someone ate for dinner last night.and why the hell should any one care about my life execpt my friends and family,im just not that filled with self importance,i feel like,i cant get through a day with out at least 10 fkn texts or phonecalls.the reason i just came on this forum/board whatever you want to call it.is because i just destroyed my 3rd phone this year i got 5 texts in a row from my mum who is now addicted to texting if i dont reply within a min or two i get another text sayi ng did you get my text?then my girlfriend has to call me at least 6 fkn times a day "yeah im having lunch".yeah im aware of that its 1 o clock everyones having lunch.then energy companies phoning because im late with a bill,which i have paid 3 days previously,its getting to the point that i cant even have a conversation face to face without a fkn interuption,even my friends have pointed it out.last time i turned my phone off on a fishing trip i had 14 missed calls and 17 texts this was in a 24 hour period.this stuff was meant to make life easier not hellish.and last of all speaker phone kids,its getting crazy whenever im on public transport some little bastard has to play their sub standard hip hop or similar b.s music as loud and as tiny and crappy sounding a possible.it makes me wsant to pick up their stupid toy and throw it skywards.also those arsehole with musical ringtones are equally guilty too.we need to send these dullards to some form of re education camp and if that dosent work maybe the gas chambers,lets face it the world is over populated anyway
There's another reason I hate those damn cell phones--nobody's mentioned it. But they ruin whatever might exist as a public space. When you're in a public space--sidewalk, waiting in a line, in an elevator, in some lobby of a building, in a park, whatever. It used to be that there was at least some chance of an exchange between strangers--a hello, a nod, a comment, maybe even a small conversation. People sometimes actually noticed what was surrounding them. With cell phones, that's all gone, and you might as well not exist as far as the talkers are concerned--what's on the other end of that wire is always far more important that what's in front of their face. Even if what they're talking about it total idiocy, which it usually is. This is really sad.
Adam, I could not agree with you more. I've had a cell phone now for almost six years. While it has been convenient some times such as if I'm stuck in traffic on my way to work I can just call my boss, if I'm out on a fire call and I won't make it home in time for dinner or just won't make it home at all that night, whatever the reason. However it is more of an inconvenience than anything. I hate the idiots who call me and I tell them that I despise talking on the phone and they say they're sorry, only to start texting a few minutes later. People try sending me those fowards with a picture or something attached to it when I've told them fifty times before that my phone is not capable of sending or receiving that type of stuff. I do not need the damn internet on my phone. If I want the internet, I get on the computer. Why on earth would I pay for a cell phone along with a data plan when I can just go home or into the station anytime I want and log onto the computer and use it? We pay $100 per month at home for TV, internet, and phone. Why would I want to pay another $100 + per month for a stupid phone with an internet? This is why I am always cutting people out of their cars, because they can not keep off of the phone while they drive, or really any other time for that matter. People are so ignorant when it comes to respecting people nearby. I don't know how many times I've been near someone with a Bluetooth and thought they were talking to me, or the busy mother or father who comes into the store and is sitting there phone in one hand and cart in the other just blabbing away. Can't you finish your conversation prior to walking inside the store? I stopped letting people come to my house because it seems they just come over and text and play with their phone the entire time. It's really a shame that everyone is so "busy" with their phones. I can't recall the last time having a conversation face to face with somebody where their phone didn't go off and they totally ignore me to answer the phone. This had to have been before they had a phone to begin with. Sorry for such the long rant, but I would love to just take and smash all the peoples phones who overuse and abuse them.
It's course, not coarse.
Thank you for this hysterical and sadly so true article.
I ....hold on everyone....do not.....own....a ....cell phone. Whenever I say that to people they look at me alarmed and literally make a gasp sound and say "REALLY"?
One of my peeves is that half of the world out there, in a restaurant, on the street, in the park, wherever, used to be quiet!!!! Single people would sit quietly in the coffee shop and read or use their laptop or just sit and watch people go by. Now there is nothing but jabbering going on everywhere you go. You can't sit on a bus and close your eyes, you can't read in the park, you can't just sit still and quietly anywhere.
I cannot agree with you more Chris regarding people in your presence using their phone. I brought my supervisors at work to dinner. EVERY one of them set their cell phone on the table in front of them at the beginning of the evening. It was an entire evening of text messaging and showing each other a photo or answering a call. We barely spoke to each other!!
It really makes me not want to socialize with people anymore. If my coming all the way to you in person does not "win" over someone who pressed a couple of buttons sitting in their chair at home, I don't know if want to be in your company.
Thanks again Adam!!
I’m just making noises, that is, I’m guessing that you are feeling irritated, anxious, frustrated, angry, annoyed, aggravated, upset, bothered, perturbed, agitated, and downright disturbed by the ongoing invasion and occupation of personal privacy, solitude, space for your own needs (driving safely and considerately) and alone time by the current mass production of technological imperialism – in this instance, the mobile phone.
My personal solution is simple: do not to engage in this consciousness at all by consciously choosing not to own one. People who confirmed my intuition and allowed me to make it concrete by “growing” my awareness about technological imperialism are Gerry Mander and his writing, including Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television and Theodore Rozack’s writings including The Cult of Information: A Neo-Luddite Treatise on High Tech, Artificial Intelligence, and the True Art of Thinking. A third contributor to this choice of not owning an iphone etc., is MD Eric Krakauer who contributed to my awareness through his work, The Disposition of the Subject: Reading Adorno’s Dialectic of Technology.
While I realize that reading this kind of non-fiction is not for everyone – I find it is life-affirming to discover my intuitions, feelings, and decisions echoed and articulated by the efforts of others – I don’t feel alone with my perspective. These folks, who I mentioned above, along with innumerable others have increased my awareness and by their efforts contributed enormously to my range of choice, freedom, and understanding of the social order in which I presently find myself.
Segueing to the subject of emergencies and mobile phones – how many emergencies actually occur in any of our lives? In drawing your focus of attention to the quality of rate of occurrence of emergencies - not one instance from my own life - comes readily to mind. And this life includes remote field experience with the Geological Survey; many years of being a motorist, being a parent, being involved in numerous community service organizations, being a backpacker, mountaineering, flying around in helicopters, facilitating workshops in remote areas, years of operating a sail boat on the West Coast, canoeing, horse back riding, and traveling and living in remote regions of a vast country.
While challenging happenings do transpire in these and other life contexts – the choice is to have sufficient grounding in common sense, hands–on skills, and considered competence to be able to understand what to do and do what is necessary for personal survival and the survival of others. I really cannot conceive of what assistance a phone could have contributed on the ground, in the moment, at the time when sh”t happened in these varied settings. As I understand it, being human includes learning how and what life skills one needs to acquire in order to cope with the unfolding events in life – apparently this is not the case anymore?
Sadly, what I witness with these electronic technologies is a rapid and absolute deskilling of human beings – a loss of competence, capability, and capacity. The phone is not going to provide me with the skills or the courage to tear off my old roof; knowledge of how to identify, repair, and replace any necessary rafters; it’s not going to put on the purlins or the click-lock metal roofing. It’s not going to assist me in getting comfortable and capable of speedily walking rafters, or what ever other tasks need doing to competently maintain the house I built.
I think the most relevant question on the topic of electronic media concerns my needs. The phone is a strategy that I can chose to assist me in meeting particular needs. The question that emerges from this self insight – is the phone an optimum strategy to meet and satisfy my need for connection and authentic communication? Or do I actually need to learn some effective communication skills to better meet my need for connection and community?
Okay, Adam, thanks for the opportunity to chat - I’m done
r.
Another thing I find annoying is that some people always ring your cell-phone even when you are at home and have a perfectly good land line. I've been turning my cell-phone off in the evenings (mainly because I only use it occassionally and so often forget to charge it) and then finding to my horror the next day that people have left important work-related messages and have not bothered to ring my landline.
Thus I now have to keep my cell-phone on me at all times otherwise I'm likely to find myself permanently unemployed. Life wasn't much harder when I was a poor student in the 90s who had to rely on call boxes.
If I lived where I had to drive into town..if I had small children..if I had a parent or spouse that had failing health..if I had a job that required me to carry a cell phone..fortunatly I don't have any of these issues..I have a land phone that has voice mail that nyone can leave a message at anytime that I pay alot of money for every month & no I don't need an addition bill coming to my house every month..thanks for reading my opinion
Fantastic rant. A few year's back, some guy in Kansas City actually shoved a cell phone down his girlfriend's throat. While I don't advocate violence against any one, I can certainly understand how someone got pissed enough to do this. We are a rude, self-indulgent culture!
I used to drive a truck for a living and I did not own a cell phone. I told my boss that I hate cell phones and would never own one. He eventually bought one for me to use only for work. I rarely turned it on, which he despised. If I had to call him, I stopped at a truck-stop, walked inside and used the payphone. Sometimes it's good to actually move your body. Had I used the mobile phone, I would have continued sitting and would not have burned one calorie. Something truck drives have in great abundance.
Certain industries now require people to own a cell phone, but few will reimburse you. $30 a month is a lot of money if you earn a low wage. I don't think it's right to expect people in low wage professions to supply their own phone. Tax write-offs are not adequate enough.
I agree with you on this one! I mean I own a cell phone, but they're not like the latest update ones because I find it unnecessary. Especially with movies, recording option, camera, games etc, and texting. I just rather not get SUCKED into that world I agree with you I have my own life, I don't think I need to text. I mean I use aim when I'm on my computer, I have my time for that to talk to my friends. But usually I'm always occupied when I'm out, either driving, going to school, working or whatever hanging out with friends. Even if I have free texting I prefer not to use it. I use my cell phone like its a regular phone, I don't call or talk constantly with people on the phone. I mean there are times I chat with my close friends but only when I'm at home sometimes. I just get ticked off when you are having a conversation with someone and I ask them a question, they find it rather important to answer their text without saying excuse me. After they get back they would forgot what I asked them. It just makes me be like "you know what I'll just leave you alone so you can text all you want, bye."
I hate my mobile.
I hate I hate I hate
Couldn't agree with you more. Looking into a Jitterbug phone for emergencies only.
I agree with the sentiments totally.
I don't drive, but everyday, I have to avoid idiots on the pavement who walk, head down and oblivious to anyone else, becuase they're obsessively reading or sending yet another bloody text message to one of their idiot friends. Or they dawdle along clutching their cell phone, and look at it every 3 seconds to see if anyone has texted them.
A while back, my wife and I were in a bar (in England) and four young women sat at the table next to ours. They didn't speak to each other once in the hour they were there; two spent an hour babbling on their phones, while the other two spend the hour texting.
Are these people brain dead?!
I am 35 years old, educated, and I am proud to say that I have never owned a cell phone. My pride stems from the fact that cell phones are intrinsically annoying and unhealthy on many levels: the radiation issue alone is terrifying (contrary to what some studies suggest), and I refuse to join the throngs of Americans who strut down store aisles and streets chanting monologues about yeast infections and extramarital affairs. The psychological aspect of cell phone dependence is as antithetical to good physical and mental health as any drug addiction.
Ardent cell enthusiasts always tout the “convenience” of their phones as the primary impetus for cell ownership; however, this is a hard sell in view of the constant frustration and weariness that all cell users exhibit each time their bodies resound with annoying ring tones throughout the day. Thanks but no thanks... If I’m not available by landline or e-mail, I’m out living my life--please leave me a message and I’ll get back to you!
your opinion of people not needing cell phones is based on the past. yes, in the past people didn't need them because the world was not technologically accustomed to it. today people rely on them because the world is so fast pace and constantly in motion. i agree people can go days without them, and im not saying they are a must have. but those is work fields often do rely on them just like a computer. technogogy is changing in the world. accept it and stop throwing a girly fit about it.
Well stated. Cell Phones and Text Messaging have really contributed to lowering the quality of our interpersonal relationships without a doubt. It is as though cell phones give people a license to be rude and ignorant. . .
Righteous rant!. Brain cancer can't come quick enough to all these zombie mobile phone junkies....And why must they all SHOUT into the fucking things?.....And me too.......I really hate texting .. Especially when my 20-something colleagues do it constantly at their Work-Stations..It seems to be the only time these massively entitled .. PC adoring .. positive psychology nazis .. seem interested in anything....I think people just need to have something in their hands..and from there spring this life quality diminishing addiction...A mobile .. or whatever digital thingy.. is like a surrogate cigarette...Irony is that if some of the boffins are right...cancer is coming for them too......
I can't believe there are so many people who agree with me. I hate phones and if it wasn't for interacting with like minded indivuals, I'd hate the internet too. I wouldn't even own a "porn-box". I hate facebook and will not get an account. Farmville sounds retarded. I'd rather go out and grow a garden. Eww, gross dirt. I know people don't like to get their hands dirty anymore. I've thought about going Amish, but I don't know yet. I'm serious. Kudos to the 35 year old who has never owned a cell phone. The only reason I have one (walmart cheapo) is because I'm poor and drive an older vehicle. If I had a newer vehicle I wouldn't own one. I also hate sports and pizza.
I totally agree. My cell phone rings I answer it and it's usually bad news anyway. Lets through them all away and go hiking or something.
If anyone has ever read Stephen King's 'Cell' then you really would think twice about using one.
Bravo! I think cell phones are one of the stupidest inventions mankind has ever created. I had one once; then, I spilled water on it and it broke. Haven't had one since.
Never mind how irritating it can be to see people in grocery stores having such "important" conversations ("Yeah, hi, it's me. What am I doing? Buying lettuce. D'ya want Iceberg or Romaine?"), but given that there's no truly conclusive (ie, not industry funded)evidence that these things are safe for people, we're talking about millions or more potential walking brain cancer patients.
I hope I'm wrong about that last part, but for fuck's sake, if anyone did a half-assed research job, they might see that using a cellphone/cordless phone as much as the average North American does may not be such a smart idea.
Forgive my swearing; I like to think of myself as a reasonably intelligent individual, and I am happy to see a few others that have left comments addressing the baseless abuse and sense of false importance these devices lend people, in addition to potential health risks.
Cell phones: F**k 'em. I will not use one. We humans existed for countless centuries without them. Why are they suddenly "necessary"? Please. Don't give me that bullshit.
Peace.
I love cell phones Call me 989-737-0595
I liberated myself form my cell phone January 2006.
It was hard to be without it for the firs 3 months but love not having it after that. My friends hate it that I do not carry a cell phone, but I do not care. They can reach me at home, at work or by email. I never use one now, I do not text, and I love life.
My best friend from High school and I went to the lake last year where we hung out during the summers. We had a large boulder near the lake where we would sit and hang out. We and just about every other kid had scratched their names in the boulder. We felt like it was our spot and we went there often. It took us several minutes to find the large boulder last year. It had been covered with fallen trees, sticks, and dead leaves. I was shocked and said to my friend “what’s wrong with kids today? Don’t they know a good sitting rock when they see one?" That is when I realized we had not seen any kids at the lake at all that day. The path to the rock was grown over in some places and was just hard to see it other places. WTF...! I guess kids don't go to the lake anymore. They don't fish, Hike, boat or swim. I feel that they must all be to busy texting and getting fat in front of the internet, video games, and cell phones. Man oh man do I miss the 70's.
I AGREE. i cant even go take leak in the Wal Mart mens room without hearing someone on the phone....Like this...i walk in, only one other guy in there and he is in a stall and i go to the urinal and the guy says "Hey what are you doing?".....WHAT? I am takin a leak, what do you think?!!!
Adam, your opinions are stupid about texting. Texting rules, you drool.
Great & hilarious article Adam, and it sums up my feelings about cell phones to a T. One of my least favorite things about having a cell phone is, like you said, that you're "expected" to drop everything and answer it every time it rings, otherwise you catch shit from the missed caller(s). I've been bitched at for not answering because I was in the store and left my phone in the car, and even once because I was driving, as if a phone call takes precedence over my safety and the safety of the other drivers on the road (although probably at least half these other drivers on the road are on their phone, so fuck their safety).
I've even been called 'rude' for not answering my phone while in the food serving line at a family get together. Yes, my sister actually somehow found it rude of me to not put my plate down and hold up the entire fucking line so I could reach into my pocket and answer my phone, which was only ringing because I forgot to turn the ringer off (something I always do when I'm at a public place or visiting with family/friends). She was next to me and heard the ringing, then asked "Aren't you gonna answer that?????" I simply said no, that I would just call them back after I eat, then she exclaimed "How RUDE!" Wow, really sis?
You can't even cruise a guy on the street anymore. They all have their eyes on their friggen iPhones. People have their phones out in BARS!?! What the F?
I totally agree with you 100 percent. I just got through having a fit attack about the exact same thing!! I don't understand this whole technology thing either. Cell phones have no purpose in life and texting just disgusts me! Why do we need phones at all period? What ever happened to snail mail and pay phones? Why all these complicated cell phones at all? Over using, that's all this world is coming to... Too Sad. Anyway, I know how you feel.
I can't take it anymore, i googled i fuckin hate my cell phone and the people who text and call me non stop and get mad when i do not respond within 10 MINS!!!!! JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A CELL PHONE DOES NOT MEAN I AM ON CALL 24/7!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK I WORK FOR YOU OR SOMETHING LIKE WTf!!! AND THESE FUCIN GIRLS WHO TEXT ME AND THE SECOND I RESPOND,AN HOUR LATER I STILL FIND MYSELF TYPING AWAY WITH RESPONSES WITH MY FUTURE ARTHRITIS FINGERS!!! I AM READY TO GET RID OF MY CELL PHONE. I LOVE WHEN I TURN IT OFF AND KNOW THAT I AM NOT GOING TO RECEIVE ANOTHER VIBRATION UNTIL I TURN IT BACK ON, BUT WHEN THAT HAPPENS I AM OF COURSE FLOODED WITH "Hey What's up? Where are you? Hello?? YOOO!!?? Are you there??? Answer meeee pleasseee." Honestly if it wasn't for all the ATTENTION NEEDING ANNOYING FUCKERS who think i am indeed on call 24/7 i probably would not mind cell phones at all. I don't get angry or annoyed when someone doesnt respond to me. I understand that they have a life and are busy or just want to be left alone and have a million and one things going on and do not need a pointless text message or phone call that makes a Million and 2 things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This felt good
Brilliant, just brilliant, I hate cell phones because everyone expects you to be available 24/7, and friends always seem to NEED you to do something for them that is inconvenient (and they "need" you to do it RIGHT NOW). I have decided to keep my phone turned off and only carry it in case I need it to call someone in an emergency (eg. car breakdown). I feel annoyance every time it rings or beeps at me now. And yes others who are always stopping everything to use their phones are annoying, it's just unnecessary. Bring back the days when there were no blasted cell/mobile phones!!
a friend said to me the other day, "i rang you 5 times and left texts and msgs a mobile means you can take it with you anywhere" my reply was "the phone is a luxury and is there for my convienience and not yours"
I totally agree 100%!! I get so sick of people who after you don't reply to them immediately start sending "hellooooo" "Are you there?" "Can you text back" etc etc, and getting all pissed off because I actually want to have a life and not be glued to my phone every second of the day.
I like hawkeye's response "the phone is a luxury..."
I may have to start using that!
Best freakin article ever! I hate it when I just want to enjoy myself at home relaxing and people start texting me. I'm like I've been talking with people all day. Leave me alone! You can never have a moment of solitude without that vibrating piece of crap going off. zzzzz zzzz ZZZZZZ!!!!. I'm going to get get an 18 wheeler and run over every persons cell phone who abuses it. Ergh I especially hate it when people text you asking what's up when they just saw you. "Oh I don't know trying to get away from you I guess."
And I work as a cashier and people come up to the registers with their cell phones. And as a cashier I'm required to ask them if they would like to get our store card. When I try to ask them, they look at me like I'm being rude!
Anyways you are a genius!
Turn the stupid cell phones off. Use it for emergencies, then turn it off. Tell friends and family that if they have an emergency, call 911, not you, because you are not a paramedic.
YES, finally! I HATE THE PHONE TOO. I WISH I COULD LEAVE IT TURNED OFF PERMANENTLY. Somehow bloody responsibilities and relationships make it necessary to be always reachable, with the person on the other line somehow always assuming you have time to have a 30 minute, 1 hour, or godforsaken longer phone conversations.
The worse part? I've completely run out of tactful excuses to get off the phone with those close to me, so everytime I don't have time for a call it makes me sound like a jerk.
Sometimes, I just want to speak in person or not at all. I don't want to talk to a freaking box, I don't want to sit there and do NOTHING ELSE, just so I don't miss the oh-so-important message I've been called about.
Thanks for posting this, I'm so glad I'm not insane. I just pulled out my phone battery after realizing I spent an hour on the phone, the whole time trying to find an excuse to get off it.
I've never bought a mobile phone and i don't ever intend to do so. They have turned the worlds population into ignorant,dumb, impatient fools with the attention span of a goldfish. I despise talking to people face to face now because they have the phone poised and ready to take them out of the conversation and half the time they aren't even listening in the first place, it's like their minds are alert and ready for that incoming text. As soon as the inevitable happens and their little attention sapping box buzzes or beeps that's it!! their eyes light up like they have been waiting for this moment all their lives and they simply MUST read that text and reply immediately. Since when is a few badly spelled words on a tiny little screen been more important to talking to the person actually standing infront of you? I can't stand sitting watching movie with mobile phone addicts either.. half the time they aren't even watching the film, they are toying with that little attention sapping box almost subconsciously. just to test them i sometimes during a movie i say " wow did you see that?" and they look up from their phones and go " huh?" then back to the mobile life support system in their hands. I refuse to get one of these horrible little things and join the ranks of the phones zombies.
Yes!
This article is spot on, and I couldn't have said it any better. This cell-phone, text craze is due to two things: 1) conceit and self-centeredness, and 2) fear of empty space in which one may actually have to confront their psychological demons that present themselves when there isn't someone on the phone or in front of them to distract them from themselves. Be easy on them though, as they are quite pathetic. I've had the pleasure more than once to be dining with someone, talking to them, only to have the conversation broken because some dickwad decided to text right at that moment "hey, where are you?" and the dumb chick I was with felt it necessary to respond at that moment. And the bitch of it is that people who do this have no idea how insulting it is, or how rude it is to the person across the table. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE CLUELESS, that's why. Like the author of this page writes, I understand emergencies, I understand being accessible to your children, but I don't understand breaking a conversation because of a meaningless text message. You almost have to date a 60-year old these days to have someone understand what respect and politeness is about. Regarding the author's wife, I'd go crazy. Seriously, I'd go crazy. If my wife (which I don't have, thankfully) decided to pull that shit and interrupted conversations, etc., because of her dumb sister texting, I'd lose it. Maybe that's why I'm alone with my dog, he knows how to focus on a conversation more than most chicks do. So yeah, the author is exactly right, this phone/text craze is a sign of the times, people's neediness and sense of self-importance, and most of these twits LOVE being accessible 24 hours a day because it makes them feel IMPORTANT and NEEDED, which is so pathetic I'm embarrassed to be of the same species as them. My dog is more independent than most of these pathetic excuses for human beings. GROW UP PHONE/TEXT ADDICTS, and try a little something called self-reliance, you dumb, clueless, unaware fucks.
wow I thought I was the only one who felt that way about cell phones and texing. My wife too sits around all day and waits for texes and Is consitantly texing herself she trys to hide it from me because she knows I ralley despise it then we end up in an argument over the whole deal. Most women complain their husbands do not spend time with their wifes mine spends time with her phone
I'm with you all the way. I always felt like I was a skootch (sp?) about texting but I guess not. But I definitely think we cannot function in today's society without a cell phone. I think it goes back to what makes us such a successful species... our incredible ability to communicate and cell phone accelerate that ability more than any other technology.
It infuriates me when Im talking to someone and their damn cell phone rings interrupting me.
I freaking hate cell phones! Everyone has one, and when they find out that I don't(and never will)have one, they keep pestering me about it! I hate the way that people always text stupid things and always put those dang "omg's" and "Lol's" and "Rofl's"! The only phone I'll ever have is my house phone and if that thing iritates me enough ringing all the time, a cell phone would drive me nuts! And I hate the way people's always talking about the new ones, it drives me crazy!
I'm glad I'm not the only person in the world who loathes cell phones, which is often how I feel as a college student. If I had a choice, I would not own a cell phone, but my mother insists that I have one for "safety reasons." Okay, fine--I got the cheapest phone I could find and immediately set it to forward to my landline. If I'm not there to answer the phone, so be it. I have an answering machine, and I can call them back at my convenience--how it used to be. I only use that stupid cell phone about twice a year when my family picks me up from the airport during the holidays, and that even annoys me--come on, people, how was it that we used to be able to find one another in airports or other places without the aid of cell phones? We'd agree to meet in a certain place at a certain time! Now everybody has phones pressed to their ears, all having the same, semi-intelligent conversation: "Where are you? At the luggage claim? Which luggage claim? Uh, where's that?" Seriously? While I don't drive enough to deal with idiots checking text messages behind the wheel, I've lost count of the number of times an idiot is walking in front of me and abruptly stops to check a text message, as if that text message (probably "what r u doin?" "walking lol") is so important that it must be answered IMMEDIATELY, no questions asked. My sister always acts as if I'm socially inept because I refuse to allow my cell phone to completely take over my life. What these people fail to realize is that THEY are the ones being socially inept if they cannot hold a real-life conversation without interrupting it to reply to a text message, saying how laugh-out-loud funny walking is.
WOW, as if that were written by me ! I call 'em "phone fucks" Does anybody know what the fuck they are staring at all the damn time? Also, I have and continue to take action against these fucks. For about a year, I was telling my wife that I'm going to make a phone fuck crash into me, so I can get a new car. She thought I was just talking bullshit. One day, as usual, I spotted an idiot driving poorly, paying more attention to their phone than the road. I set him up, cut him off and bang, he hit me. Long story short, his insurance bought me a new car! Other ways I amuse myself is when one is walking down the sidewalk, or in the store, staring at their fucking piece of shit, I stick my let out and trip them. Hilarious !! Also I still cut them off on the road too. Anything I can do to piss them off, gives me gratification.
Thankfully, I am happy to say I do not have such a problem I got fed up of my phone and smashed it last year...and I find that I don't need it anymore, not even for an emergency lolz
I actually feel REALLY in the middle of nowhere, since i destroyed my cell phone and social network accounts, its like i came to another world, i go out to the street and its like theres nobody actually alive.. Sometimes i get a deep bad feeling about this, and wonder whats gonna happen next... I dont have friends anymore because i dont have a cell phone or facebook, i tell them to contact me via email but they wont.. not even my family, theyre inmerse in their iphones and blackberries and nextel (im from mexico btw) the only fun thing in my life is coming to university and read, study and surf the internet.. But still theres nobody around, and feel so lonely, just videogames, and tv makes me feel in touch, its painful my mother and sisters are somewhere else but not in their brains, they are at some virtual space nobody knows where is it, its just there, theyre like somewhere else talking, they are meeting in somewhere that im not and dont wanna go, so im basically nothing, even some people have told me i dont even exist because i dont have any kind of commitment with technology, and so they dont talk to me and i feel even more excluded, and like a piece of shit, besides i dont have a girlfriend or a boyfriend cause everyone i meet its the same, and they want me to have a cellphone to stay in contact cause if i dont i just dont exist..
I actually feel REALLY in the middle of nowhere, since i destroyed my cell phone and social network accounts, its like i came to another world, i go out to the street and its like theres nobody actually alive.. Sometimes i get a deep bad feeling about this, and wonder whats gonna happen next... I dont have friends anymore because i dont have a cell phone or facebook, i tell them to contact me via email but they wont.. not even my family, theyre inmerse in their iphones and blackberries and nextel (im from mexico btw) the only fun thing in my life is coming to university and read, study and surf the internet.. But still theres nobody around, and feel so lonely, just videogames, and tv makes me feel in touch, its painful my mother and sisters are somewhere else but not in their brains, they are at some virtual space nobody knows where is it, its just there, theyre like somewhere else talking, they are meeting in somewhere that im not and dont wanna go, so im basically nothing, even some people have told me i dont even exist because i dont have any kind of commitment with technology, and so they dont talk to me and i feel even more excluded, and like a piece of shit, besides i dont have a girlfriend or a boyfriend cause everyone i meet its the same, and they want me to have a cellphone to stay in contact cause if i dont i just dont exist..
Well said I agree...I want every phone smashed I hate talking and then a phone buzzes stupid phones are a waste of money I only need a FB and a email WTF a phone really
This post is too funny and too true. The worst part of everyone having a cell phone and texting capability is this sense of entitlement people have to your personal time. I don't think half these people would be running to use a pay phone as much if there were no cell phones. There are even people who actually call you about work related issues during your vacation. People used to call you at the end of the day when you got home now they want to call you any time of the day and talk and talk and talk as if you don't have stuff you need to do like hearing yourself think. I think if you have a cell phone like most of us do, you just have to train the constant callers that you're not a cell phone person and they're just going to have to deal.
It's simple: you must take a stand -- draw the line somewhere. A cell phone is a tether, a walking prison. I will have nothing to do with them in this life.
Amen. This article is 100% spot on!
Dang this is so right. I hate my cellphone, if I didn't need one for my work, I don't think I woul dhave one at all. Cell phones have got way out of hand, use of text messages and internet have gone way of track of what a phone was made for. IT WAS MADE FOR TALKING!!!! I mean I have used text and internet when looking for something, but I do not need it!
I get sick of everybody being obsessed with their phones and it has got way out of hand.
One more thing, instead of making cell phones being able to do all these stupid things like start your car ect from your phone. I think they should be made to work everywhere we go. Just a thought.
Oh MAN, this article strikes a nerve with me. Right on! I used to work for Verizon Home, and we were required to have cell phones. Whatever, it was THEIR time and they were paying me right? Oh hell no. When I was at home, my boss wanted me to keep that fucking thing around. I finally got in the habit of turning that piece of shit off as soon as my work day was over. I would come into work the next day and several people would give me the damned stink eye because I didn't get the message about some meeting that I apparently missed because they text me at 7 FUCKING PM to let me know I had a meeting in the morning. I finally had to tell my boss very clearly that when I am not being paid, I am not turning that damn thing on. Eventually a few others started doing it too, and thankfully they eased up on the whole thing. I'm so glad I don't work that job anymore. There was nothing more fucking annoying than being waist deep in fiberglass in someone's attic and having that cancer box start buzzing like a Jack Russel fucking terrier, only to answer it and have someone say, "Hey man, you busy? Where you want to eat for lunch?"
A great article and an enjoyable read! Yes, I too was once a victim of such crimes (during my years of highschool) and now my friends complain that I never pick up my calls and reply (, because I click ignore or my phone is off). I do agree completely, but sadly this is the generation/age of mobile phones. I still remember the bulky black-and-white phones and now it's a bloody mini computer! What happen to good old face-to-face talking? It's sad when couples break up through a simple text/email/whatever. It's just bloody fantastic. A hilarious read!
I hate cell phones. I hate texting. I hate all of it. I hate the way these devices have destroyed the English language, and all grammar goes out the window as soon as someone gets one of these damn things.
I hate that no one talks to each other in person anymore.
I hate being somewhere, minding my p's & q's in public, and here comes some 300 pound cell phone fatty. Talking about everything in her precious little life that none of us want to hear! I absolutely hate with a burning passion listening to people talk about their private lives in freakin public.
You know what I do? I get involved in the conversation. That's right. You're talking about personal shit, I am right here, and I am not going to pretend for your sake that I can't hear you. So, I agree, disagree, and put in my two cents if your conversation is within one foot of my face, I consider myself involved. Pretentious assholes.
But, this method works to clear the area if you are trying to shop, ride a bus, do laundry, etc. People get scared if you are a normal, friendly person starting a conversation; I highly suggest doing alot more of it.
If I was just as rude as the phone f**ks, I would whip out a cmaera to snap a picture (yes, for all the texters out there, the word is PICTURE not pic, or pix. Or photo. "pic" is lazy, ok?) of the shock and confusion on their faces that another live human being has spoken to them and is now awaiting a audible verbal response.
The South Park guys have it right. Everything is shi**y right now.
I have no cell phone, I dont use facebook, use the internet for like an hour a week, yeah I live like the early 90's. I hate our culture they say these social networks bring us together ha! they push us further apart which is ok for me I am a loner but the rest of you who are dependent on other and contact with others what will you WHEN we get a solar flare, I know what ill do go for a walk with my dog smoke some pot enjoy the sun while everyone else freaks out becuase oh no i cant text,check my facebook, or google why my phone isnt working I CANT WAIT FOR THE DOWNFALL!
I hate that cells phones take away from the important things in life. I can't stand that when I walk into the room and the cell phone is quickly shut and put down. As I walk back out of the room for it to be opened again and like I don't know.. come on really? UGH!! I can't stand it anymore... I really need to get a grip on this or it is going to kill me and one can only bite their tongue until you EXPLODE!!
Good rant,couldn't have said it better my self,if you really want to have a more peaceful time at a resuraunt or cubs game,get yourself a cellphone jammer,they are around 20 dollars and ship in from China.Best wishes,jerry
Funny article was wondering if I was the only one who felt this way...but I'm not buying all these comments. I still think I'm the only one in the world that can actally do without a cell phone 24/7 from what I've seen everywhere I go...everywhere. I need one for work to get my service calls, weekends its not even around. Every Monday morning I'm searching for my phone that I carelessly tossed somewhere last Friday evening. People get angry that they can't get a hold of me when not working. However if you do this for a few years they eventually get it and have to come visit you if they want to talk to you! This is perfect cause it gives them a job to do as well. I refuse to be at everyones beck and call.
I'm nearly 50 and never owned a cell phone nor do I intend to.
If that's not weird enough, I have a background in computers and electronics. I SAW the direction cell phones were going and what it was DOING to people--and simply stepped aside and distanced myself.
I have the best cell phone ever. It has 75 hours of battery life, never loses reception, has no data charge, and it's faster than 4G. Want to know what I have? It's called my mouth and ears.
Did I say hours? I meant years, 75 years of battery life.
Alice Grey 3 years ago
Oh my WORD...this is hysterical!!! I fall on the floor at your feet master and subjugate myself to you....shall we form a cult?
I too, while normally a kind and temperate person, find myself transformed into a murderous lunatic when faced with the shocking rudeness of those brandishing the ubiquitous cell phone. My husband and I have a friend who comes over to visit us and then subsequently spends the entire time plastered to his phone!!???
Both my husband and I got rid of our phones because people began getting rile-up when we turned them off for a little privacy! The CHEEK! Now they can only reach us on e-mail!